In addition to the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $49, you get your choice of a 60-minute Swedish or deep-tissue massage from Nickel Spa for Men (up to a $105 value). A Luxist-nominated facility for the Best Men's Spa of 2010, Nickel is a progressive two-story tower solely dedicated to masculine tranquility and rejuvenation. Muscle tissue will gelatinize like lutefisk when undergoing the sweeping and soothing strokes of the Swedish massage. This Scandinavian body service claims to boost energy levels, increase blood flow, and reduce anxiety. For those with more chronic muscle tension, dive for the deep-tissue massage, a full-body rubdown that relies on more direct pressure and friction to eradicate tension caused by occupational and everyday stresses. After treatment, don't be surprised if more than a few muscles break dance with newfound elasticity and vigor while blasting disruptive sinewy stereos.
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