Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into frozen tundra and then rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Defeat devious teeth with today’s Groupon: for $39, you get an initial Invisalign examination, x-rays, and impressions (a $700 value) plus $1,000 toward the full teeth-straightening treatment at North Pier Dental Associates.
The Invisalign process strives to straighten crooked chompers without braces, instead opting for clear, removable aligners that are virtually invisible to the unclothed eye. An initial 30-minute exam, including x-rays, photos, and tooth impressions, is used to create a 3-D model of your mouth terrain, which paves the way for a flurry of calibrated teeth sheaths that are designed to slowly shift walnut crackers into perfect alignment. The total cost of an Invisalign treatment varies for each customer (it can run anywhere from $3,499 to $4,499 at North Pier Dental); this Groupon gets you $1,000 toward that final cost.
Depending on the client’s teeth, as few as 12 or as many as 48 separate aligners will need to be worn during a period of 6 to 15 months before the straightening effect finally self-actuates in a sudden burst of pink smoke and slobber. Aligners are only removed when eating, brushing, flossing, or modeling a finely clenched jaw.
North Pier Dental Associates
Over the course of more than two decades, Dr. William J. Couvelis has been beautified many smiles within North Pier Dental Associates. Beneath the exposed-brick walls of the River East office he puts to use knowledge gleaned as a member of the American Dental Association, Chicago Dental Society, and the International Congress of Oral Implantologists. The team uses the latest technology and reconstructive techniques to fill cavities, prevent gum disease, and insert porcelain veneers, leaving smiles charming even when directed blankly at the only other person trapped in a haunted house.