The opportunity to play outside with large groups of strangers usually ends with fifth-grade graduation. Today’s Groupon lets you revisit the joys of recess as an adult, without getting weird looks. For $10, you’ll get a 45-day membership that gets you access to all classes, adventures, and events at Northern Colorado Outdoors, Denver’s active outdoor, sport, and social club.
Making friends is hard as a grown-up. You can’t pass notes across your cubicle asking co-workers to circle their feelings about you, or entice potential friends with your pog collection anymore. Northern Colorado Outdoors makes it easy: you sign up for any of the adventurous exploits that pique your interest (such as mountain biking, kayaking, or zip-line adventures) and get to be active with other like-minded individuals. Most events are free for members, such as Yoga for Everyone and Kayak Polo at the EPIC Center; others, such as out-of-state excursions, cost money, but you'll pay the discounted member price.
Modern technology has crippled human social skills, leaving you suctioned to a keyboard and communicating with other humans primarily through status updates and dialogue-lasers—this Groupon can save you from a total robotic transformation. By being surrounded by living, breathing humans and thrown into situations that don’t contain holograms, you’ll re-learn how to express yourself without using angry emoticons.
Northern Colorado Outdoors isn’t just a singles mixer for Indiana Jones–types—it’s also perfect for pairs. If you and your common-law husband have lost touch with your families and friends, these classes will help you remember that more people is always more merrier.
Testimonials on NCO’s site give the sport and social club five stars:
- Northern Colorado Outdoors is a great way to meet fun new people and get active outdoors! – Brad Brown
- I've met so many great people through this group! I've also had so many fun adventure! I'm looking forward to this summer for more! – Kelly
- NCO is a great group and a fun way to get outdoors and meet new people! Kristina, the leader makes it so easy to get involved. – grendel2004
Satchel Rand, Lovelorn Movie Adventurer
Northern Colorado Outdoors offers outdoor adventures for Indiana Jones–types, and it's also a great way to meet potential love interests. On your excursions, you'll hopefully be more like Indiana Jones and less like Professor Satchel Rand, the lovelorn main character of a competing 1980s adventure-film series. Unlike Dr. Jones, Professor Rand never quite got the girl. Here are his films:
Satchel Rand and the Curse of Xerxes: While hot on the trail of an ancient bust believed to grant weather-control powers, the wise-cracking Dr. Rand is tracked by Fascists bent on taking over the world. Rand is aided by the beautiful daughter of his mentor, and even though Rand really wants to ask her out, he talks himself out of it and just worries about saving the statue.
Satchel Rand and the Lion of Babylon: A mysterious benefactor enlists Rand's help to decipher an ancient riddle that may grant eternal life. When Rand discovers that his mystery employer is none other than his ex-wife, Elena, Rand's adventure kicks into high gear, then quickly becomes kind of sad when he asks Elena to remarry him in front of a bunch of Fascists, and she turns him down.
Satchel Rand and the Seal of Gedaliah: Before he can stop evil Fascists from using a biblical seal to turn the tide of war, Rand calls every single woman from his speed-dating session and tells them that he hasn't had a girlfriend in six years. When the women are kidnapped by Fascists, Rand gets in a weird place in his life and stops leaving the house.
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