Unwanted hairs are like weeds that sprout on the garden of your body, and just as when removing weeds, excess hair should be decimated with a laser. Vaporize rogue follicles with today’s Groupon: for $99, you get three laser hair-removal treatments at Nu Aura Rejuvenation Center on 12th Street (up to a $750 value).

Nu Aura Rejuvenation Center's laser hair-removal service uses concentrated beams of illumination to quickly remove skin-squatting follicles, unlike shaving with a flashlight. Clients have the option of focusing on their underarms ($420), upper lip ($360), bikini line ($600), chin ($450), ears ($420), toes ($350), areolas ($750), belly button line ($900), or sideburns ($450). A certified physician assistant will administer three separate treatments with this deal, but since most of these areas typically require six total treatments, customers can join the forces of two Groupons and deal a crippling blow of destruction to their hair area of choice.

Lasers provide a gentle and safe method for getting rid of annoying patches of body fur. By heating follicles and cutting off their blood supply, hairs are banished from dermis domains with only minor side effects, which are limited to a slight redness of the skin and the ability to shoot lightning from your pinkies. Set up your appointment and live a more hairless lifestyle, full of Olympic swimming victories and a knack for easily navigating air ducts when coated in motor oil.

Intervals of 4–8 weeks are required between treatments.

Reviews

Past clients provide testimonials on the Nu Aura Rejuvenation Center website:

• I cannot thank the staff enough for their comprehension of their products and services which gave me the confidence to move forward but most importantly, I appreciate their candor in caring for my personal needs and insecurities. – CINDY