Extracting milk from a cow is much easier than extracting it from a coconut, largely because of cows’ soft outer shells and tendency to accumulate on trees’ lower branches. Celebrate nature’s most convenient dairy dispensers with today’s Groupon: for $50, you get $100 worth of home-delivered dairy products from Oberweis Dairy. All orders incur a $2.99 delivery charge that can be covered by this Groupon. Check to see if your address is within the delivery area.

Oberweis Dairy thrills lactose lovers with premium, glass-bottled milks and creamy treats gathered from farmers firmly opposed to the use of artificial hormones. Stock your oral interior with calcium-soaked sweets from the dairy menu, home to half-gallons of fresh and flavored milks ($3.39–$3.79), pint-size canisters of cottage cheese ($2.79), and delicious low-fat yogurt cups ($1.19 for an 8 oz. container). Breakfast bundles ($10.67–$19.66) help customers shake off morning sluggishness with fresh-squeezed cascades of Orchid Island orange juice, one dozen Pearl Valley extra-large eggs, and Oberweis’s own meats and banana breads. Premium and signature coffees ($7.99–$9.99 for a 12 oz. package) pumped straight from the prized udders of Kona cows provide an extra perk. Check the full delivery menu for other nondairy beverages and a herd of dinner options.

Upon placing your first order, you may choose to receive an insulated dairy box designed to protect products from harsh sunlight and prowling kittens. Once straw-drained, the reusable glass milk bottles can be rinsed and returned to the Oberweis treehouse simply by placing them in the insulated box before your next weekly delivery. Though the dairy box is provided at no initial charge, Groupon customers who terminate service within six months of their first delivery or have a lapse of four weeks or more between deliveries will be charged $24.99. This Groupon cannot be applied to the $24.99 charge, but it makes a good visor extender when printed.