Paintball is a lot like chess in that both require complex strategizing and both are almost impossible to win against autonomous robots. Pit flesh against metal with today’s Groupon: for $30, you get admission (a $20 value), gun rental (a $30 value), and one bag of 500 paintballs (a $20 value) at Obnoxious Paintball in North Bellmore (a $70 total value).
Obnoxious Paintball offers 25,000 square feet of indoor, climate-controlled splatter heaven, with an X-Ball field (110'x125') equipped with labyrinths of inflatable rubber bunkers for strategy and shelter. Chromatic warriors brandish the exclusive, all-metal Planet Eclipse ETEK3 AM paintball gun, its compressed air tank rapidly ejecting a barrage of kaleidoscopic paint spheres that eliminate opponents from the game after transforming each one into a flesh-and-blood Jackson Pollock piece. Players can bring their own artistic armor or rent masks and chest protectors for $5 each.
Obnoxious Paintball’s pro shop sports an assortment of hue-hurling equipment from name brands such as Tippmann, Virtue, Valken, and more. An extra wide hallway is lined with benches and acrylic windows, allowing players to rest and lick paint stains off of clothes. All deadly daubers under 18 need a parent or guardian present to sign a waiver. No CO2 or outside paints are allowed inside the facility. Obnoxious Paintball is open Wednesdays through Fridays from 5 p.m. to midnight, on Saturdays from noon to midnight, and on Sundays from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Though Obnoxious Paintball sometimes offers different daily specials, this Groupon still offers the best deal.