Every winter, eco-conscious Denverites face the same choice: bury your old car in a neighbor's backyard and spend money on an expensive new one, or save money for the limited edition Monopoly. With today's Groupon, you won't have to choose. For $25, you'll get a one-year "Trendy" Plan membership with OccasionalCar. This includes the application fee ($25), the annual fee ($50), $50 in driving credits, a cool key fob, gas, insurance, and the cost of the OccasionalCar parking spot. That saves you $125 off the bat, along with the $7,000–$8,000 annual cost of owning your own car.
Once you get your fob in the mail, all you need to do is reserve a car via the Internet or the phone (phone reservations cost $1 per call). You can book any car in the city, though non-masochists will most likely prefer the closest location. When you get to the car, wave your fob over the reader along the driver's-side windshield and the doors will click open like magic, to the easily impressed. Click here to see the process in action. Once you get back from playing the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, simply return the car to where you found it. OccasionalCar will charge your credit card for hours, miles, and flux capacitor usage.
OccasionalCar's occasional cars are all safe, reliable, and fuel-efficient models such as the Honda Civic Hybrid and the Toyota Yaris, with more models on the way. These hybrid vehicles are marked improvements over older, less eco-friendly automobiles like the Ford Delillo, which ran on virgin rainforest. Sign up now and you'll get your fob in time to shuttle around for guilt-free gift shopping this holiday season.
Car or Pony?
There are so many reasons not to own a car:
- Maintenance costs
- Parking tickets
- Back pain from hydraulic lifts
- The irresistible but dangerous urge to sleep beneath the hood on the warm engine
- You have to leave the car in order to ride a pony
While riding a pony solves some of these problems, there's still a lot you can't do with it:
- Carry more than one bag of groceries
- Pick up the water bed you got on Craigslist
- Run errands in no-pony-zones
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