In addition to experiencing the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $25, you get a 60-minute Swedish massage at Ocean of Dreams in Kaukauna (a $50 value).
A 60-minute Swedish massage begins with large, fluid, gentle touches that relax muscles, calm nervous systems, and lull ligaments into spilling classified government secrets. Using a light, friction-reducing oil or lotion, the massage therapist gradually increases the pressure on target areas, steamrolling muscle pain, tension, and pennies lodged beneath the skin. Future kneaded bodies can upgrade to a 90-minute Swedish massage, and those with Scandinaviphobia can opt for a deep-tissue, hot-stone, prenatal, or seated-chair massage.
139 E 2nd St.
Kaukauna, Wisconsin 54130