If deprived of massages, your muscles will gradually contract and twine together until they spell out the phone number of the nearest hospital. Answer the cry for help with this Groupon.

$69 for 60-Minute Couples Massage with Hot Stones ($140 Value)

In a private room for two people, massage therapists relax guests’ muscles with long, flowing strokes and hot stones while soothing music plays. Each client enjoys a complimentary beverage during the session.

On Cloud Nine Day Spa

The aestheticians at On Cloud Nine Day Spa revitalize complexions by integrating spa niceties, such as paraffin wax dips, into advanced treatments. Pevonia emulsions cultivate glowing skin with natural ingredients, the effectiveness bolstered with infusions of collagen and oxygen or gentle exfoliation with a mechanized diamond-studded wand. In the face of stubborn scars and stretch marks, expert hands can reach for products designed for pre- and post-op skincare from the Medicalia line. On Cloud Nine Day Spa's own line of aromatherapy essential oils deepen relaxation during all eight styles of massages, all of which incorporate hot stones. Bodies stay smooth and lithe with help from an FDA-cleared mechanical massager, strips of wax, and the example set by a Hatha yoga instructor's snake hand puppet.