What You'll Get
A cigar is a sign of opulence, like a toilet full of diamonds or a topiary garden full of toilets full of diamonds. Live the good life with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of drinks and cigars at Onezia Upscale Lounge in Gonzales.
Onezia indulges lounge lizards with an assortment of premium stogies, top-shelf spirits, and imported beer and wine amid plush leather furniture, plasma TVs, and live music. A custom-made humidor brims with a feast of tobacco logs, including Mike's 1950 Toro ($4.50), Brazilia Samba ($7.50), and Romeo y Julieta Aniversario Churchill ($9), named for Winston Churchill’s love of reciting Shakespearean soliloquies. Puffs pair up with tantalizing tastes of Myer’s Dark rum ($6), Patron Silver tequila ($8), and myriad scotches, whiskeys, and bourbons, including Crown Royal Special Reserve ($9), Dewar’s 12-Year-Old ($8), and Booker’s ($11). Talented barkeeps amalgamate the top-shelf brands to elegantly craft lemon-drop martinis ($7) and manhattans ($6–$9), whereas tropically flavored mojitos ($7) accompany traditional warm-weather activities such as snorkeling or capsizing a paper sailboat. Barley-quenching gullets can revel in the bar’s collection of imported and domestic beers, such as Newcastle Brown Ale ($4), whereas an array of wines nurses fruit-deficient bodies back to health.
Candlelit tables and 50-inch plasma TVs create a warm and inviting glow throughout Onezia’s cozy confines, which features live blues and jazz, and complimentary grub during Monday Night Football. Patrons can sink into a snug leather chair inside the cigar citadel, or sneak out to the furnished patio, equipped with an overhead roof to keep guests comfortably cool and lit cigars safe from wind, rain, and nearsighted pigeons.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 1, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person. Limit 1 per table. Not valid for happy hour. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.