What You'll Get
Detoxification treatments exploded when Soviet scientists found many people had bad heavy metals stuck in their bodies and bad heavy-metal music stuck in their heads. Release metallic toxicity with today's Groupon: for $30, you get an individual total body detoxification at Optimum Health in Richmond (a $60 value).
Optimum Health endeavors to assist client health and slow down aging through a variety of detoxifying services. The individual total body detoxification treatment is designed to remove toxins that the body typically pushes through the skin. It strives to increase energy by freeing the body to metabolize nutrients otherwise directed to neutralizing toxins, leaving clients' with enough renewed vigor to take up competitive pole vaulting. Clients place their feet into a detoxifying bath in which an electrical current frees oxygen ions. The oxygen ions are then magnetized in an effort to "unlock" cells in the body, prompting them to throw free radicals, heavy metals, and D-list-celebrity refugees overboard into the bloodstream. The magnet's polarity reverses frequently in order to get the oxygen ions, which have bonded to the toxins, pulled back out of the body.
Optimum Health uses the nearly one-hour detoxification treatment to serve clients suffering from a variety of maladies, including depression and exhaustion or the inability to like reality TV. After the treatment, clients are given instructions on how to continue clearing toxins from their body, as the detox process continues for 48 hours. Though today’s Groupon is good for one treatment, Optimum Health recommends a minimum of six treatments for full results.
Buyers of this Groupon should note that health restrictions apply, especially for those who are pregnant, have pacemakers, have had an organ transplant, have epileptic seizures, or suffer psychotic episodes. In that case, the Groupon's value may be applied toward another detoxifying service.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Oct 18, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 2 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. By appointment only. 24hr cancellation notice or $30 fee may apply. New clients only. Some health restrictions apply. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Optimum Health
Certified natural health practitioner Tianya Clark has been in the health industry for more than two decades, and draws upon traditional and alternative medical training to best assist her clients at Optimum Health. According to Camisha Jones of Urban Views Weekly, Clark felt more energized and able to play with her children after trying aqua detoxification, and extends that same opportunity to clients via total-body-detox sessions. Patrons relax in a private consultation room or cozy communal area while a footbath ionizes and magnetizes the warm water. The process aims to draw out impurities such as nicotine or heavy metals accumulated from playing the tuba with bare toes.
Clark teaches a three-month detoxification specialist certification program to educate others on the equipment and procedure. She performs other services geared toward tracking down toxins, including techniques such as hair analysis and iridology. The center also features a TENS unit, a device that delivers a small electrical current designed to kill bodily viruses and bacteria.