Ben Franklin invented bifocals for the sole purpose of reading the tiny set of scathing King George puns that Jefferson inserted into the margins of the Constitution. Continue America’s tradition of freedom and the good eyesight necessary to enjoy it with today’s Groupon: for $39, you get either $100 toward designer sunglasses or $150 toward lenses and frames at Optix Family Eyecare Center in Plainview. This Groupon can be used toward sale spectacles and sun-armor.
With more than 30 years of individual experience, optometrists Dr. Joel Kestenbaum and Dr. Michelle Zalaznick lead Optix Family Eyecare Center’s small, dedicated army of eyeball preservationists, providing residents with fashionable ocular correctives and designer-designed retina sunshields. Optix is one of the largest designer-sunglasses oases in the area, so brands such as Ray Bans ($139–$279), Nike ($139–$199), and Coach ($159–$289) are available for the discerning UV fighter. If you choose to go the prescription route, polycarbonate lenses are available standard ($129) and with a non-glare package ($199). Today’s deal includes a $50 eye-exam credit; complete health eye exams start at $95, so expect about half off the test that can determine your eyesight and whether Ray Bans will make you look more like Jake, Elroy, or their brother Joshua, who only wore them because of his extreme sensitivity to neon lights.
Optix Family Eyecare Center offers Long Islanders an array of services to thoroughly pamper and revitalize peepers feeling neglected due to teeth’s outrageous daily demands. More than 1,500 designer sunglasses frames are available, so stop by to search out the perfect pair to protect your eyes from the sun’s rays and your friends’ camera phones’ inexplicable red-eye increasers. Treat your only visual organs, variously known as windows to the soul and rickety cellar doors to the superego, to a medical or aesthetic makeover they deserve, and free yourself from rebellious and vivid visual hallucinations of unhappy eyes.
431 S Oyster Bay Rd.
Plainview, New York 11803