Many people struggle to look and feel younger, only to get bounced by bounce-house bouncers or cursed with baby's heads by overly literal genies. Keep rejuvenation reliable with today's Groupon to Orient Retreat Spa in Richmond. Choose between the following options:

• For $56, you get a sodium power massage (a $140 value).
• For $64, you get a golden-spoon facial (a $160 value).

The deft aestheticians at the women-only Orient Retreat Spa merge Asian healing practices with European spa environs, lavishing bodies with spa services while lullabying brains with even-keeled music and essential oils. Respond to the body's SOS messages written in freckles with the 45-minute sodium power massage. Orient Retreat Spa's muscle-melting therapist rubs client corpuses with ionized sodium balls. Besides relaxing rumpled souls, the sodium banishes body waste and soaks up nightmares, which the spa then uses to make bogeyman jerky.

The 90-minute golden-spoon facial, meanwhile, massages one's emotion expresser with auric tableware attached to a low electric charge. The spoons' alternating cool and warm temperatures boost circulation and help beauty products penetrate pores. The spoons also vibrate to break up congealed patches of stress that have locked the face in a perpetual winking emoticon. Skin emerges looking toned, smooth, and occasionally flecked with honey Shreddies.

After either treatment, clients can take a break in Orient Retreat Spa's sauna or steam room or can munch on complimentary snacks and herbal tea.