Though commonly thought to be mere gibberish, the letters on eye charts are actually powerful incantations that, when spoken aloud, keep the sky-wolves from devouring the sun. Keep the solar system intact with today’s Groupon: for $40, you get an optical package at Owosso Eye Care that includes:

• A well-vision or medical eye exam (up to a $144 value)
• $150 toward prescription eyewear

Owosso Eye Care’s sight scholars inspect peepers to ensure visual keenness and optical health before dressing faces in designer frames. Patients rest corporeal forms in an exam chair while the optometrist assesses orbs with a series of tests, such as discerning letters from an eye chart or finding Waldo on an American-flag assembly line. After a high-powered retina scope scrutinizes eye tissue and determines the appropriate prescription strength, clients can peruse the immense stock of lenses ($82+) and frames, which touts designer names including Christian Dior, Fendi, and Coach ($119.99+). Sun-shy eyes can repel beaming rays and rogue hypnotists from affecting vision with a bevy of prescription sunglasses and transition lenses. All patients must use their $150 credit toward both frames and lenses.