In addition to experiencing the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a one-hour massage at Pacifica Care (a $95 value).
Pacifica Care, a behavioral and cognitive health clinic, coaxes the bodies and minds of overstressed clients into relaxed, harmonious states. During a custom massage, a licensed therapist employs either deep-tissue massage or gentler relaxation techniques to release tension, transforming stiff muscles into pliable putty. Upon arrival at the nautical-themed office, clients can sample coffees, teas, bottled water, and shortbread cookies prior to their sessions. Rejuvenated guests emerge from Pacifica Care ready to calmly face future work challenges, interpersonal issues, and high-speed car chases.
Pacifica Care––headed by Dr. David Moss––strives to keep patients in strong physical and mental health with a wide variety of services, including nutritional counseling, massage therapy, psychiatric treatments, and emotional and behavioral counseling. Committed to spending more time with each patient than most facilities, the doctors, physician's assistants, counselors, and massage therapists aim to see new clients within 72 hours of the initial request, and they maintain later hours to accommodate those who have daytime responsibilities, such as spying on the sun. The facility's stock of nutritional supplements packs active phytonutrients ground from fresh, organically grown plants such as alfalfa and beets, as well as animal-extracted vitamins and minerals scraped from Mount Rushmore's last group facial.