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If your eyes are the windows to your soul, your teeth are the white picket fence that protects the soul from the neighbors' taffy mastiffs. Strengthen your defenses against attacks on the soul with today's Groupon for clean and healthy teeth. For $49, you'll get a full dental exam (a $67 value), cleaning (a $90 value), bite-wing x-rays, and three frontal x-rays (a $144 value) at Park Rose Dental Studio (a $301 combined value).
Park Rose goes wonderfully overboard with comforts. Every patient gets a soft pillow and blanket, a bottle of spring water, a warm steam towel for your face, a mint-and-chocolate truffle, and a hand dip in warm paraffin wax; best of all, noise-canceling headphones and futuristic personal movie glasses spare you from trying to engage in the art of conversation when your mouth is full dental hands.
During the procedure, rest easy knowing you're in good hands. Dr. Nathan Dustin, DMD, has attended the White Cap Institute, is a member of the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, and received Advanced Certification II training in Invisalign. He has assembled a veritable A-Team of dental specialists to assist him. Together, they'll help make your teeth so squeaky clean that spinach will slide right over those crevices in which it normally hides and Milk Duds will be repelled from your molars by a force field of spotless shine.
Teeth have all kinds of useful uses. They make passable chef tuques for G.I. Joe action figures. Incisors can double as bulletin-board thumbtacks. Dislodged molars make functional 12-sided dice for all dexterity-related calculations in Dungeons & Dragons. As such, it's important to remind them that they're loved every six months lest they feel neglected and nonsmiley.
Reviews
Park Rose Dental Studio gets five stars from reviewers on Citysearch:
- I used to have to be under conscious sedation to have my teeth worked on, but now thanks to Dr. Dustin and his staff I was able to complete my treatment plan knowing that it was at my pace and comfort level without having to be asleep. The staff at Dr. Dustin's office goes above and beyond to make you feel comfortable. – Lmgilto, Citysearch
- I have been enjoying the services of Parkrose Dental Studio [sic] since 2005=) I have had the best experience with this establishment from regular exams and cleaning, to zoom! whitening services, to fixing the botched job of another dentist's filling. I am happy to travel from the SW Aloha/Beaverton area to NE Portland for the superb service and friendliness... – harmonygirl22, Citysearch
Gimmick Dentistry
Sometimes being a great dentist isn't enough—you also need a gimmick. Here are some dentists who have stooped to gimmicky shticks to drum up business:
- James Darby, the Dentist of the Future: Dr. Darby claims to be from the year 3009, "Twelve years after the Saturn War." He came to our time to practice "future-dentalism," which uses non-invasive tools. Unfortunately, his instruments were damaged during time-flight, forcing him to practice what he calls "barbaric past-dentalism."
- Stand-Up Comedy Dentist Laura Van DeAbernos: As a stand-up comedian during the 1980s comedy boom and a 1991 graduate of the Palo Alto Dental Academy, Dr. Van DeAbernos seeks patients who want to hear jokes about in-laws and microwave dinners during appointments.
- Dr. Griffin, DDS: Rendered completely invisible after ingesting a mysterious serum, Dr. Griffin continued to run his Santa Fe dental clinic without interruption. While being invisible has drawn some curious onlookers, most of Dr. Griffin's patients appear to be drawn more to his friendly manner than to his lack of reflective surface properties.
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