Though dogs can take care of themselves, they choose not to—instead focusing their efforts on chasing squirrels, licking marmalade off babies, and learning American Sign Language. Eliminate best-friend messes with today's Groupon: for $35, you get 75 minutes of pet-waste cleanup services from Pet Butler (a $76 value).

The self-declared "#1 in the #2 business," Pet Butler provides full-service cleanup for dogs and cats in individual yards, parks, and multifamily communities. After being deployed to your pup's outdoor powder room, one of Pet Butler's uniformed technicians will use disinfected tools to expunge any ordure from yards, kitty litter boxes, or pet toilets. Waste is taken off-site with the technician upon departure (unless local ordinances prohibit it), and Pet Butler's one-time-only service also includes a natural enzyme spray to dilute the effects of urine stains on lawns.

Over the course of 75 minutes, cleanliness caretakers will clear green spaces of errant cow pies and paper products from mastiff singles mixers, alerting clients if yard re-greening will take more than the allotted time. Call on Pet Butler professionals to take your place as scooper extraordinaire, and deny greedy grass the opportunity for free fertilizer.