If comic books have taught us anything, it's that getting zapped with mysterious rays always gives you crime-fighting abilities—in this case, superhuman smoothness. Let your skin fulfill its dream of pummeling two-bit hoodlums with today's deal: for $112, you get three laser hair treatments (up to a $600 value) at Physicians Laser Center, which has five locations in the DC area. This Groupon is valid for three treatments for one of the following areas: underarms (a $600 total value), standard bikini (a $600 total value), upper lip (a $525 total value), chin (a $525 total value), sideburns (a $600 total value), or cheeks (a $600 total value). All three treatments must be used on the same area.

Physicians Laser Center, a certified member of the American Society for Laser Medicine and Surgery, boasts a range of laser systems, each designed to get maximum improvement for most skin types or sensitivities. During laser hair removal, medical professionals certified by the American Board of Laser Surgery carefully guide their body-buffing beams, which target the melanin, or pigment, of each individual follicle. This fast, relatively painless procedure is designed to stunt hair growth and, with enough treatments over time, produce long-lasting hairlessness, permanent hair reduction, and unmatched bodily aerodynamics. Committed to safe, licensed care, PLC's medical offices make sure that a physician is always on-site during laser treatments. The on-site expert allows guests to stay informed about procedural specifics and provides an outlet for quick answers to pressing questions, such as, "Why aren't extraterrestrials allowed in the Miss Universe pageant?"

Guests must be properly shaven and fill out proper medical forms. Call ahead to schedule.