Like cranky children, unoiled engines make piercing noises, emit odd smells, and lack the power to smash through walls. Give vehicles the attention they need with today's Groupon: for $14, you get a standard oil change and tire rotation at Piedmont Tire and Auto in Gainesville (a $29.95 value).

Sporting ASE Blue Seal certification and AAA-repair-facility approval, Piedmont Tire and Auto's attuned technicians lubricate engines and rotate tires, preventing deeper damage through regular maintenance. During the 45-minute engine cleansing, a mechanic swaps grimy, used oil with up to six quarts of fresh standard motor oil, making engines run more smoothly than a dolphin-drawn submarine. The new coat of oil allows pistons to freely fire at tops speeds and prevents friction-induced engine corrosion. The technician then relocates tires into new wells during a tire rotation, ensuring treads and rubber-clinging ghosts are evenly worn down. Riders and their motor-steeds leave the auto shop toting an 18-month, 18,000-mile nationwide warranty backing their services and a lollipop rewarding good manners.