What You'll Get
Like delicate sweaters, bodies must occasionally be washed from the inside out, lest they become covered in lint or tie-dye. Cleanse your delicates with today's Groupon at Pittsburgh Alternative Health in Mount Lebanon. Choose between the following options:
- For $60, you get a colonic, consultation, and infrared sauna (a $120 value).
- For $30, you get an ionic footbath and infrared sauna (a $65 value).
A holistic medicine center, Pittsburgh Alternative Health purifies the body with detoxifying services led by Darrell S.C.S Misak,a pharmacist and naturopathic physician. The colon-hydrotherapy session employs a soothing flow of warm water to cleanse the lower colon of its malevolent microbes. FDA–registered equipment facilitates content evacuation and carefully regulates pressure, temperature, and water flow for optimal patient comfort. Among a list of health benefits, colon cleansing may expel parasites, increase abdominal muscle tone, and reduce compression of neighboring organs trying to start mosh pits. A consultation with Dr. Misak prefaces intestinal irrigation, as he takes inventory of each patient’s medical history and health goals. Eliminate additional toxic burdens with far-infrared sauna therapy, which seeks to send bad stuff on wild-rapid rides out through the pores via beads of sweat and other bodily secretions. Far-infrared can penetrate the skin up to 2 inches, unlike words, which bounce off of human flesh. The combined colonic and sauna treatments take approximately 90 minutes.
Alternatively, add an ionic footbath to the infrared sauna to purge toxins from their inner-body hidey-holes in an hour. A patented electrode-array system creates a foot soak that sends positive and negative ions through the body to neutralize oppositely charged particles and attract them to the water with promises of free cable. The painless process pulls toxins through whatever skin surface is in contact with the water, leaving bodies in a revivified state.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Nov 15, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Valid only for option purchased. 24hr cancellation notice required or fee up to Groupon value may apply. New clients only. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Pittsburgh Alternative Health, Inc.
At Pittsburgh Alternative Health, friendly staffers join Doctor of Naturopathy Darrell Misak and needle-free acupressure specialist, Dr. Wan Huang to restore and maximize bodily health and mental well-being with holistic treatments. Toxins are expelled during sauna sessions, where infrared light saps contaminants from muscles, and relaxing ionic footbaths, which kiss the feet with gentle electrical charges. Relaxed patrons can glide into a private mental-rest room, where a programmed audio-visual show lures minds into a state of alert relaxation with music, lights, and footage of baby pandas learning to cartwheel. The health center can also aid patients on the road to health with analytic testing. During an EAV test, technicians use a fusion of mechanical methods and ancient acupuncture pressure points to study the body’s energy. The results can pinpoint sensitivities to foods, chemicals, or existentialist poems that may be decreasing energy or causing other health problems.