Spending a day at a spa is a tranquil experience surpassed only by swimming in a pool filled with mashed potatoes or having a hand model slap you to sleep. Seek out seven days of spa tranquility with today's Groupon: for $20, you get one week of unlimited spa services at Planet Beach Contempo Spa, redeemable for up to three services per day (a $17.90 value/service) at locations in Kalamazoo or Portage (up to a $375.90 value).
Planet Beach Contempo Spa's army of rejuvenating machines bestow efficient relaxation and beauty-enhancement treatments upon their human masters. Archaic contraptions such as fingers and palms are traded out for the Cyber-Relax massage chair, a smart piece of furniture that scans bodies electronically and customizes its 509 kneading combinations to untie muscle knots and snuff out anxiety. More spa services, such as infrared-sauna time, hydro-massage, and UV therapy, provide opportunities for sweating, moisturizing, and photoskinthesis. The sleek Hydro-Derma Fusion device cleanses pores and moisturizes thirsty skin in an attempt to improve tone and elasticity, which can produce results akin to body wraps and steam-bath treatments without the expense of self gift-wrapping and heat-resistant rubber duckies.
Indoor sun worshipers may spend time basking in any of the traditional or standup tanning beds. Stand-up beds do more than make you feel less lazy; they also work faster than traditional beds and make it much harder for hermit crabs to sneak up on you and pinch your nostrils.