Though dogs can take care of themselves, they choose not to—instead focusing their efforts on chasing squirrels, licking marmalade off babies, and learning American Sign Language. Give hardworking pets the attention they deserve with today's Groupon to Planet Doggiewood. Choose between the following options:

• For $6, you get one self-service pet wash (a $12 value).
• For $25, you get professional pet-grooming services (up to a $60 value).

The National Animal Control Association–certified staff at Planet Doggiewood utilize specialty pet-care products and state-of-the-art equipment such as waist-high tubs with gentle restraints, vet-grade disinfectants, and temperature-controlled water for grooming and bathing services. Those who wish to give their nonhuman best friend a quick bath outside the delicate confines of their Faberge-egg-stocked home can opt for the self-service pet wash (a $12 value), which leaves the cleanup to Planet Doggiewood's merry band of dog and cat whisperers. Precise handheld sprayers as well as aprons and sleeve protectors help owners stay dry, and tearless shampoos and conditioners moisten pet pelts without discomfort or awkwardly emotional moments. DIY villus revamping can be executed with professional grooming equipment such as a grooming table, pet-specific brushes and combs, and a high-velocity dryer.

The grooming package lathers pooches and felines in a double shampoo and conditioner hand wash before blow-drying, clipping the nails, and cleaning and plucking the ears (a $60 value). Each pet’s look can be reshaped with a customized professional cut, transforming an ordinary dog into an ordinary dog with the Superman logo on its chest. Heavier breeds or pets with longer fur may require an extra fee for this service.