In the postapocalyptic future, humankind will look to those who spent the most time at the gym for leadership, as they will be best prepared to combat the roaming packs of feral treadmills. Prepare for glory with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a three-month membership at Planet Fitness (a $59.97 value).
Planet Fitness' massive, brightly colored edifice teems with aerobic, strength-training, tanning, and massage options, tailored to suit burgeoning buffs of all ages and abilities. A full range of cardio equipment is complemented by an elite team of fitness trainers, whose services are available to members without charge. After an intense muscle-pummeling on the extensive selection of strength-training equipment and free weights, valiant athletes and masochistic vampires alike may bask in the unlimited artificial sunshine of the gym's tanning booths. Meanwhile, an army of shiatsu massage chairs stands at the ready, twiddling soothing robot thumbs and waiting to coax tension from tired tendons.
Planet Fitness' facilities also include full locker rooms and gym members receive a free muscle-covering T-shirt, a 50% discount on beverages, and may bring a friend or nemesis in training with them on any visit. Today's Groupon must be redeemed at the Richmond location, but grants admittance to any of Planet Fitness' gyms nationwide.