In the postapocalyptic future, humankind will look to those who spent the most time at the gym for leadership, as they will be best prepared to combat the roaming packs of feral treadmills. Prepare for glory with today's Groupon: for $15, you get a two-month Black Card membership at Planet Fitness (up to a $65.99 value). This Groupon is valid at eight San Antonio–area locations: Nacogdoches, Fredericksburg, Bandera, Marbach, Pavilions, New Braunfels, Commerce, and SE Military.
Planet Fitness's massive, brightly colored edifices teem with aerobic, strength-training, tanning, and massage options, tailored to suit burgeoning buffs of all ages and abilities. After an intense muscle pummeling on the extensive selection of strength-training equipment and free weights, valiant athletes and masochistic vampires alike may bask in the unlimited artificial sunshine of the gym's tanning booths. Meanwhile, an army of shiatsu massage chairs stands at the ready, twiddling soothing robot thumbs and waiting to coax tension from tired tendons.
Planet Fitness' facilities also include full locker rooms, and gym members receive a free muscle-covering T-shirt and a 50% discount on beverages. They may bring a friend or nemesis-in-training with them on any visit.
Although Planet Fitness sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.