In the absence of formal canine restrooms, dogs never get to read the Sunday comics in privacy or participate in over vs. under toilet paper debates. Curtail the consequences of outdoor lavatories with today's Groupon: for $20, you get an initial yard cleaning (up to a $149.95 value) and one follow-up cleaning (a $35.95 value) from Poop 911 (up to a $185.90 total value). This Groupon is valid in Cook County, Du Page County, Kane County, Lake County, and Will County.

Poop 911's uniformed excrement excavators revitalize lawns of a half-acre or less as they scoop and sack pet droppings. During a yard cleaning, waste removers ferret out all kinds of fecal matter, leaving grass free of former kibbles, digested bits, and macerated rugby cleats. After double-bagging waste, cleaners dispose refuse in homeowners' on-site trash receptacles. Valid for homes with up to seven hounds, each subsequent waste-removal service improves the look, the feel, and the scent of yards, and a follow-up cleaning allows barefoot homeowners to safely stroll properties and crabwalk to the mailbox without fear.