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If two eggs sleeping in a cheese-swaddled bed of bacon, onion, green peppers, and hash browns don’t cure your hangover, apply a poultice of poached eggs over country ham on a Hollandaise-smothered toasted muffin. Today’s Groupon gets you $30 worth of classic American breakfast food for just $15 at Pork Store, the classic greasy spoon and hangover-helper with locations on Haight Street and 16th Street. Pork Store’s all-day breakfast menu is stuffed with pancakes, brown sausages, and crispy hash browns, and the lunch menu has truckloads of fresh fries, tender pork smothered in smoky, spicy BBQ sauce, and turkey avocado sandwiches (Pork Store also offers vegetarian dishes).
This Groupon is good at the original Haight Street location and the newer Mission location. Both are lively cafes that bubble with contented diners during weekend brunch. They’re open from 7:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Monday through Friday and from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. on the weekends. Tables in the tiny Haight Street shop are hard to come by, especially on the weekends. If you want to avoid the wait, stop by before work, or head to the larger Mission restaurant, which has Mimosas and Bloody Marys to jumpstart your morning. Pork Store’s servers are so attentive that they refilled your coffee three times while you were reading this.
This Food Is My Jam put strawberry jam on Pork Store’s biscuits: > * If you’re hankering for some comfort food and a super casual atmosphere, look no further than the Pork Store. From pork chops, to eggs, to pancakes they have your breakfast needs covered. – This Food Is My Jam
Yahoo! Travelers give Pork Store a perfect five-star rating, and Citysearchers give the Haight Street location an average of 4.5 stars. Yelpers give Pork Store Haight Street a four-star rating, and they give the Mission location an average of 3.5: > * Everything about this place is perfect for breakfast. Try the strawberry pancakes. Like eating heaven. – Chris, Yahoo! Travel > * The waitress was SO friendly and continually kept filling my coffee cup. It never got below the half-cup mark. The food came right away and tasted awesome and portions were definitely worth it. – christky82, Citysearch > * This is probably one of my favoritie [sic] breakfast spots… Their hashbrowns are to die for. – jessica w., Yelp
Foolproof Hangover Cure
Scientists at Honolulu University’s Aloha! Labs have spent the last 30 years chasing the cure for a hangover. After many vaccine attempts have failed, they have at last formulated the foolproof hangover cure—a feat long feared impossible by the medical community. True humanitarians, they have released their formula for the benefit of mankind:
Begin with a half-full glass of orange juice, and then add the following ingredients…
- A dash of paprika
- One werewolf’s heart (sesame seed can be substituted if werewolf hearts are out of season)
- A scale from the tallest dragon in the empire (two raw eggs can be substituted)
- A witch’s tooth (a dash of ground pepper can be substituted)
- Both eyes of a male centaur (no substitutions available)