The burden of aches and pains makes it impossible for humans to run as fast as cheetahs, which is why the human diet is virtually devoid of gazelle meat. Keep fast food from getting away with today’s Groupon to Practically Perfect Day Spa in Canton. Choose between two relaxing options:

• For $30, you get a one-hour Swedish massage (a $60 value).
• For $30, you get a one-hour Practical facial (a $60 value).

Within a cozy, homelike home of exultation, the dedicated professionals behind Practically Perfect Day Spa pamper grateful faces and aching muscles with personalized attention. During hour-long Swedish massages, therapeutic hands take glorious glides across the rippling rivers of sore muscles, kneading tense lumps of back-gravy into smooth silver-spoonfuls of opulence. Customers donning disparaged dermises can opt for the Practical facial, which treats the facepiece to a peaceful, hour-long journey though rejuvenation. Dirty squatters are scrubbed away from surface real estate and, if needed, extracted from pores with a fishing pole. Additionally, gentle exfoliation exhumes dead skin cells, and an included light massage and facial mask work together to restore youthful suppleness and radiance.