Massage was developed by NASA to help astronauts cope with edgy Tang-induced sugar highs, lack of ESPN, and predatory aliens stowed in the hangar bay. Achieve its soothing effects outside the soul-crushing abyss of outer space with today’s Groupon: for $30, you get a one-hour massage at Precision Muscular Therapy and Massage in the Glenstone Shopping Center (up to a $70 value).
The certified neuromuscular therapists at Precision Muscular Therapy and Massage unleash an arsenal of massage techniques on stress and tense tendons to promote full-body wellness. Well-oiled hands coax battered backs and legs into total relaxation with the long, flowing strokes of a Swedish massage (a $60 value), and the firm kneads of a deep-tissue massage (a $65 value) dig up deep-rooted aches and increase joint mobility. Other massages target the needs of specific clientele, including prenatal massages for expectant mothers (a $60 value) and rehabilitative sports massages for Olympic thumb wrestlers (a $60 value).
With Thai yoga massage (a $60 value), a nimble therapist uses his or her hands, knees, and feet to contort clients' bodies into various stretches that provide the body benefits of intensive yoga without the hassle of meditative astral projection. Precision also rejuvenates world-weary bone sacks with neuromuscular therapy (a $70 value), which incorporates a conversation with the client, as well as various tests and measurements, to identify the sources of muscular pains before treating them specifically.
Though Precision Muscular Therapy sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon is still the best deal available.