Cars, like college freshmen, live in constant threat of philosophy majors scribbling them with vulgar Kierkegaard quotations. Battle against vehicular grime and gags with today’s Groupon: for $34, you get a premium oil change, tire rotation, brake inspection, free oil upgrades if needed (a $3 value/additional qt., a $5 value/5W-20 upgrade), and a diagnostic of the battery, starter, and alternator at Precision Tune Auto Care (up to a $93 total value). This Groupon is valid at Precision's locations on South Memorial Drive and East 51st Street. All shop supplies and taxes are included in this Groupon.

Precision's customer-focused car whisperers revitalize four-wheelers with vital vehicle-care services. Amicable mechanics will replenish parched engines with fresh, velvety 5W-30 lubricant (free upgrade to 5W-20 if needed). After tires are rotated in a game of musical wheel-wells, brakes undergo a strict inspection by a seasoned sleuth to ensure that pads are in prime condition for avoiding collisions with road signs or freshly minted dimes. Car-care packages also include a diagnostic of batteries, starters, and alternators to make sure everything is in tiptop, rev-inducing order.

While friendly staff members pamper cement schooners, car owners can comfortably relax in the lobby’s leather seats to ogle televised pet weddings or guess a stranger’s credit score.