Teeth have long been important to humans, allowing us to break down food, threaten prey, and bite our dates' fingernails during horror movies. Protect your pearly whites with today's Groupon: for $49, you get a dental exam, teeth cleaning, and x-rays at Preferred Dental Care, with locations in Queens and Manhattan (a $335 value).

The experienced staff at Preferred Dental Care's dual offices dispenses dental treatments in all specialties, handling cosmetic, emergency, and routine procedures. Patients recline in one of the 29 chairs that span the two locations, where they may catch up with favorite cartoon characters or snowy screens on an overhead television during the procedure. The process begins with a full visual inspection of the mouth, scouting out tooth decay and gum disease before they can enact their sinister plans of tunneling underneath toothy banks containing gold fillings. A series of x-rays then affords doctors a deeper look inside of each tooth to determine their underlying health. Finally, a complete cleaning removes troublesome tartar and plaque, followed by a polishing to make smiles shine like fistfuls of pearls chucked into a blazing fire.

The offices' diverse staff members speak English, Spanish, French, Korean, Urdu, and Hindi, ensuring that patients of many backgrounds can be provided for. Patrons of the Queens location who are stuck babysitting their neighbor's car will appreciate its free parking.