Spines perform many essential tasks, from supporting human pyramids to tingling with arachnid-style accuracy when threatened with a rolled-up newspaper. Help heal overworked spines with today's Groupon: for $49, you get two spinal-decompression sessions at Preferred Pain Center (a $150 value).

Preferred Pain Center’s compassionate physicians relieve pain caused by injuries, accidents, and chronic conditions. Designed to treat dysfunctional disks, spinal arthritis, and other sources of neck and back pain, spinal decompression uses intermittent, precise traction to encourage more mellifluous blood and oxygen flow to troubled areas. Patients rest on a comfortable Kennedy Decompression Table that adjusts to patients' precise body measurements and enables treatment in prone or supine positions. The table’s customizable design molds to bodies like a windbreaker made of Play-Doh and targets back-pain areas from the neck down to the lower back. Vertebral gurus place patients' bodies in different inclined positions for 20 to 30 minutes at a time, relieving discomfort and pressure and easing chronic lumbar or neck pain.

Preferred Pain Center performs cost- and obligation-free consultations before starting decompression to discern patients' specific issues and determine a treatment plan. This Groupon offers an entryway into the recommended 20-session gamut of spinal-decompression therapy, which, like the recitation of an ode to boredom, is most effective when spaced out over six weeks.