If your eyes are the windows to your soul, your teeth are the white picket fence that protects the soul from oversized bites of taffy. Strengthen your defenses against attacks on the soul with today's Groupon: for $150, you get a Zoom! teeth whitening (a $650 value) at Premier Dental, located in West Omaha.

The cosmetic dental den offers customized mouth-bone beautifying treatments in a warm and friendly environment. The Zoom! whitening procedure is simple and painless, taking place over the course of two appointments: a 15-minute consultation to ensure your teeth are healthy enough for the procedure, and a second visit to undergo the actual whitening (which takes a little over an hour). You'll recline in a plush chair while the dentist meticulously applies a hydrogen-peroxide-based gel into every crevice of your mouth's yeti-infested mountain range. Once your face and lips have been covered in a protective shield, the laser-powered gel-activating lights zap the gel deep into the marrow of your mouth. The Zoom! treatment lightens teeth up to eight shades.

Harness the comedy-writer-blinding power of a ultra-white set of teeth, or spruce up your smile in anticipation for future class photos or mug shots. Premier Dental's friendly and dedicated staff promises to make your trilogy of treatments enjoyable, comfortable, and more effective than even the tastiest baking-powder scrub. Call ahead to schedule a consultation.

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Reviews

Premier Dental does not yet have many reviews, but it has gotten excellent testimonials from its patients:

• Thanks to a caring doctor and his crew, I feel like a million bucks! – C. Z.
• I look at photographs that we have taken over the summer and can't believe the difference in the way I smile. – D. K. H.
• The confidence is knowing that I can smile and not be concerned with what my smile looks like is a relief. – J.K.