Mankind is one of only two species that uses tools to increase bodily strength, along with the crow, which builds tiny twig barbells to prepare for its upcoming evolution of arms. Stay ahead of the birds with today's Groupon: for $13, you get a one-month gym membership and unlimited tanning at Premier Fitness of Appleton (a $34.95 value).

Premier Fitness of Appleton stocks its 6,000-square-foot muscle manufactory with modern cardio- and strength-building machines, surrounded by staff who aim to melt away fitness frustrations. The cheery citrus-hued facility offers buffening opportunities around the clock 365 days a year. A 15-inch TV perches atop each treadmill, cross-trainer, and other stamina-extending equipment. Melon farmers and globe salesman can relieve workday stresses by taking out aggression on a collection of medicine balls, and all can achieve a more sinewy shape with free and cable-assist weights and dumbbells from 2.5–95 pounds. Hop into Premier Fitness's tanning capsule at any time to turn biceps and elbowceps into a new tone. Private changing rooms and showers provide comfortable spaces for post-workout body-debriefing, while security cameras protect patrons at all hours elsewhere.