The teeth are the icebergs of the skeletal system, tiny exposed tips that represent the body’s massive concealed support structure. Today’s Groupon ensures your bones’ spokesperson sparkles: for $199, you get a one-hour Zoom! teeth-whitening session at Printers Row Dentistry (a $600 value).

Printers Row Dentistry's smile specialists mend mouths with a litany of dental treatments. During their one-hour Zoom! teeth-whitening sessions, Dr. Gregory Page and his experienced technicians bless grills with new luminescence using the power of toothy technology. After guarding gums with a resin barrier and miniature football helmets, technicians apply a revivifying hydrogen-peroxide gel to each chomper. Next, Dr. Page wields the watts of the Zoom! wand, activating the gel's brightening power with direct UV light. After eight to 15 minutes under the lights (process may need to be repeated two-three times), patients may see their teeth whitened up to 12 shades lighter, leaving smiles ready to dazzle red-carpet photo shoots or end desert-island captivity by attracting passing aircraft.