Exterminators wake up each morning eager to battle bugs, and ex-Terminators cry rusty tears and long for the days of the cyborg uprising. Reward exterminator optimism with today's Groupon: for $69, you get one general indoor and outdoor pest-control treatment from Pro Pest (a $169 value).

Pro Pest's licensed and certified vermin assassins craft customized strategies for their exterminating services, with all of their methods and products safe for both children and pets. Solutions that meet the needs of individual homes are conjured up by the pest-pulverizing masterminds, who take into account each dwelling's age, size and Zodiac sign. Lasting 30–60 minutes, indoor/outdoor treatments nab current offenders at the source and stop future rebel bug and critter incursions before they begin. Ants, spiders, mice, silverfish, crickets and other general insects and pests are covered with this Groupon, but cockroaches, termites, bed bugs, fleas, and emotionally unavailable garden gnomes are not.