Your epidermis will glow brighter than a hunk of bornite with today’s Groupon: $42 for a personalized facial at Radiance Medspa (a $85 value). Radiance uses Jane Iredale products, which are made from minerals crushed to form overlapping microscopic crystals. The hypoallergenic crystals form a filter to protect the skin while allowing it to breathe. Iredale’s scientists work tirelessly to ensure the overlapping microscopicity of each breathable crystal.

You get a one-on-one consultation before Radiance Medspa’s International School of Skin and Nailcare-trained esthetician decides what combination of mask, massage, and steam is most suited to overpower your pores, banish your acne, repress your age lines, or sarcastically insult your whiteheads until they whither in shame. Radiance Medspa, located at 2810 Paces Ferry Rd., SE, is a first-class spa with on-staff physicians. It’s a soothing space with glossy hardwood floors, earth tones, and art on the walls.

Benefits of a Radiance Medspa facial include:

• Deep cleansing: Because facials remove blackheads and whiteheads, skin is less likely to break out. With each facial, you should see clearer skin.
• Circulation boosting: The steaming process boosts blood circulation.
• Toxin elimination: The massage portion of the facial relaxes, soothes, and encourages lymph drainage, thus improving the natural ability of the skin to rid itself of toxins.
• Collagen stimulation: The massage also stimulates the body’s secretion of collagen and elastin to keep skin firm and elastic.

Reviews

Radiance Medspa has a perfect five-star rating on Citysearch, KUDZU, and Yelp. Here’s what the clear-skinned are saying: > * Radiance is an all around awesome experience. I feel like they genuinely care about me getting the results I want, without ever pressuring me to do things outside of my budget. And I have seen some amazing results. – sopdoug, KUDZU > * I love this spa! This is a very clean and non pretentious spa. There is a great ambiance there, with the knowledgeable one-on-one staff, private relaxing rooms, and overall great energy. – bfrasier15, Citysearch > * Radiance, in my opinion, is one of the best medspas in Atlanta. They have a fabulous facility, wonderful and well trained staff, and relaxed professional atmosphere. – Brendon F., Yelp

Repression of Age Lines by Benevolent Dictator

The staff at Radiance Medspa will rule over your skin like a benevolent dictator. They’ll choose the most soothing methods and materials to pamper your skin, but make no mistake: your face will bend to their terrible will.

Tremble as their trained technicians brutally repress age lines and wrinkles! Stand aside and say nothing as they disenfranchise your acne! Feel remorseless for your acne, for it has not used its right to vote wisely enough to deserve it (insists on a write-in vote for Lyndon LaRouche year after year).

Kim Jong-il is a big fan of Michael Jordan and claims to have scored five consecutive hole-in-ones during his first attempt at golf. Joseph Stalin used to find the quarter behind Russian children’s ears. And Mussolini loved to enjoy a pizza with enemies of the state before torturing them. Radiance Medspa, like all ruthless dictators, has its adorable quirks too:

• Claims to have brought skin into the world—and can take it out of the world too
• Loves The Sound of Music
• Collects antique vases

Don’t be phased. Simply accept Radiance’s individuality, and endure the relaxing brutality for the sake of your skin (at a 51% discount).