Unlike stained glass, stained teeth are not considered aesthetically pleasing or appropriate cathedral décor. Banish unsightly tarnishing with today's Groupon: for $65, you get an in-office teeth-whitening treatment and a take-home whitening-tray kit at Rapid Brite Whitening (a $179 value).
Rapid Brite Whitening's trained teeth-whitening specialists minimize discomfort with swift chomper-brightening procedures. Technicians administer the Plus Professional treatment by coating teeth in a brightening gel that, like a neglected Tamagotchi, awaits nurturing by an LED light. As the stain-busting light beams down on teeth for 30 minutes, deep-set discolorations dissolve, purifying enamel for long-lasting pearly whiteness. Clients then become the proud owners of a take-home teeth-whitening tray to evenly spread whitening gel over gum sprouts in the privacy of their own home. The trays last for up to three effective treatments, prolonging time between whitening sessions and allowing dazzle-restoring touchups after morning cups of coffee, evening glasses of red wine, and lunchtime blueberry-pie-eating contests.