Without online stores, people would be forced to hunt and gather their gifts while risking injury from roving packs of holiday-shopping velociraptors. Shop while safely protected behind a firewall with today’s Groupon: for $15, you get a $30 gift card to RedEnvelope, an online shopping emporium.
Boasting a head-spinning array of uncommon and personalized gifts, RedEnvelope provides memorable wares for nearly every occasion, including birthdays, baby showers, anniversaries, and more. Give five-pronged pals a break and stash rings on an elephant ring holder ($29.95) or treat a sweetie to saccharine bites with a set of 12 hand-dipped fancy berries ($29.98). Be properly equipped for run-ins with ale-slinging cowpokes with a leather beer holster ($29.95) and pick up an extra to secure inconspicuously around the ankle for sticky situations. Other product categories include Jewelry, Baby & Kids, and For the Home. RedEnvelope’s quality wares are covered by a 100% satisfaction guarantee and are shipped everywhere in the U.S.; orders can be expedited on the backs of a stampeding herd of wildebeests for snappier delivery (additional charge applies).
Before sending presents to their ultimate destination, RedEnvelope encases them in its free signature gift box—a bright-white ribbon wrapped around a crimson container, the red color inspired by Asian cultures that saw it as a symbol of happiness, good fortune, and love. Owing to this philosophy, RedEnvelope acts as a one-stop shop for gift-givers for any occasion, whether they’re celebrating a child’s graduation, thanking a friend, or sending themselves presents to pretend they have a secret admirer. Gifts range from cuff links and charm bracelets to home-brewing kits, leather cigar cases, and customized pillow covers. Many of these products are exclusive to RedEnvelope and can be monogrammed or personalized with the recipient’s name or ATM pin number.