What You'll Get
In addition to the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $20, you get your choice of a one-hour massage at Rejuvenation Station on Sprague Avenue (up to a $70 value).
Rejuvenation Station pampers patrons with an array of massage services in a serenity-inducing environment. Professional de-stresser Rufino Zisumbo ascertains each torso's wants, needs, and proficiency in belly rolls before gently kneading stubborn muscles into a happily relaxed state. Backs and shoulders will breathe unencumbered sighs of relief with the unbinding of their wound-up muscle-bands, while limbs celebrate freedom from stiffness with cheery fist pumping and foot clapping. Rufino may use a massage lotion or oil to help facilitate the frictionless release of muscular tension as ambient music submerges the customer’s mind in a cerebral bubble bath of natural spring tranquility. Clients can call ahead, go online, or send a foot messenger to schedule an appointment.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires May 10, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. By appointment only. Appointments after 5PM must be booked 48 hours in advance. 24hr cancellation notice required or fee up to Groupon price may apply at appointment. Not valid for hot rocks massage, chair massage, or couple massage. Extra fee for upgrades. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.