We reach adulthood the day that we realize we will never go to space or own a monkey. With today’s Groupon, you’ll wish you never stopped believing: Monkey For a Week gives you your very own monkey, to do with what you please, for a full week. And today, you can get any of their 40+ monkeys for only $49 - that’s a staggering 75% off the normal price of $199.

Since its founding, America has been engaged in a passionate, seemingly futile love affair with monkeys. While they are widely regarded to be superior pets to cats or dogs, innumerable practicalities stood in the way of the monkey’s journey to the American living room. What do you feed them? How often do they need to go outside? Can’t they get kind of messy? Star crossed lovers, Americans and monkeys solemnly accepted their fate to be forever apart.

But Monkey For a Week founder, Greg Hartline, refused to take “no” for an answer. After an inspiring trip to Costa Rica, Greg left his job selling Toyotas and spent two years overcoming the challenges of monkey ownership. Monkey for a Week opened its doors earlier this year with over 40 monkeys from which you can choose.

With today’s Groupon only: criminal background check and medical testing ban are waived!

While Greg is an open minded business man, he’s still got a few “no no”s. But with today’s Groupon, they’re all waived - you’ve got carte blanche with your monkey. If you’re a scientist, then you know that monkeys for testing cost thousands. So stock up on today’s Groupon, and you’ll be inventing new drugs just to find a way to use up all those monkeys!

Think of how much fun you’ll have during your monkey week. You can take them for walks, dress them up (all monkeys come with a 10 outfit wardrobe), get them to solve simple puzzles - the possibilities are endless. Now hold on, we know what you’re thinking: “poo flinging.” Solution? Speaking from experience, it’s actually really cute - but only for the first week, then it gets kind of annoying. Did you know that people in India hate monkeys? It’s because they have to spend more than a week with them. This business is seriously brilliant.

Get your Groupon.