Despite their destructive cinematic depictions, most lasers are content with assisting slideshow presentations and translating DVDs for people who don't speak fluent binary. Embrace the altruistic portion of the electromagnetic spectrum with today's Groupon: for $249, you get a chemical peel with IPL-laser-treatment package at Reviance Portland (up to a $765 total value). The package includes:

• Initial consultation (a $25 value)
• Face and neck facial prep (a $40 value)
• Custom medical-grade chemical peel (up to a $175 value)
• IPL laser treatment (a $500 value)
Post-treatment product kit (a $25 value)

At the Reviance Portland medical facility, licensed aestheticians supervised by double-board-certified facial plastic surgeon Dr. James Chan resurface dull visages with minimally invasive IPL lasers and custom chemical peels. The approximately 90-minute visit kicks off as an aesthetician evaluates a patient's skin type and ability to complete geometric proofs before prepping dermises with a face and neck facial. Under the guidance of Dr. Chan, the aesthetician sweeps the medical-grade chemical peel across facades to extract dead epidermal layers. Then, the aesthetician beams intense pulse light (IPL) rays onto facades, which can lighten pigment patches, tighten skin, and reduce the appearance of wrinkles. Newly minted mugs leave with a post-treatment kit stuffed with goodies and a glow that mimics the sun after its first kiss.