Like fine marble statues, human bodies must be touched up on a regular basis lest their surfaces dull, their north sides moss, and their forearms fall off. Lavish your life vehicle with today's Groupon: for $116, you get a spa package at Revita Medispa (a $232 value). The package includes:

• A microdermabrasion treatment (a $130 value)
• A signature manicure (a $37 value)
• A signature pedicure (a $65 value)

At physician-helmed Revita Medispa, medical aestheticians revitalize weary epidermises with a variety of medical-grade cosmetic treatments. Before undergoing treatment, all clients enjoy a free consultation and thorough skin analysis. Microdermabrasion treatments buff skin with a diamond wand that sloughs off the dull outer layer of skin, known as the stratum corneum, that can set up camp on the face, neck, check, or hands. Like a puppy, a suction treatment follows the diamond wand to collect the dead skin cells it leaves in its wake. Bodies then swiftly replenish the lost skin cells with healthy ones, resulting in flesh that is luminous and more attractive to hungry animals. Treatments take between 15 and 20 minutes, and can minimize the appearance fine lines, shallow acne scars, and other imperfections.

Additionally, a manicure and pedicure extend the pampering parade to hands and feet. A buffing and polishing makes finger nails gleam, deflecting light off nails and into the eyes of bewitched passersby. Feet, too, turn sandal-worthy with a buffing, clipping, and polishing regimen.