Your face is your personal billboard. If it falls into disrepair, teenagers will be tempted to spray-paint it with mustaches. Stave off surly graffiterati with today’s Groupon: for $65, you get a facial, exfoliating hand scrub and paraffin bath, and an eyebrow shaping at the offices of Ronald S. Perlman, M.D. (a $230 total value).

Assisted by an able-handed crew of trained aestheticians and employing more than 25 years of cosmetic experience, Dr. Ronald S. Perlman services and structures skin of all sorts. In the welcoming interior of the Perlman offices, a trained aesthetician will commence countenance coddling with a brief consultation, giving clients' cheeks the chance to vocalize their unrequited love for lotion. Hard-working hands are treated to an exfoliating scrub before being placed in soothing paraffin wax for the duration of the facial. Once your face is fully cleansed and exfoliated, skin specialists will scrutinize spots and survey blemishes under a magnifying light. Freeloading pore-cloggers are forcibly evicted, followed by a mask and moisturizer to leave skin smoother than Kenny G's backyard bowling lane. Finally, a professional plucker will wax wayward eye whiskers, remove the now-moisturized fingers from the paraffin bath, and release each newly glowing guest back into the wild.