Like babies, cars are cursed with the inability to tell their owners when they are soiled, often resulting in peeling paint, rusty rims, and embarrassing rashes. Seek the intervention of a car-whisperer with today's deal: for $17, you get five Express Washes (up to a $40 value) at Russ’ Auto Wash. This Groupon can be redeemed at either of the Secor Road locations.

Russ’ Auto Wash's staff of trained washists cleanses cars at two locations, ensuring high-quality auto attention. Each Express Wash ($8 each at the north location, $7 each at the south location) preps and sprays a vehicle’s body with impeccable care, deftly removing insects, trail mud, and salt acquired while driving past a greeting line of deer tongues. Off-white tire walls are scrubbed back to a state of innocent purity and a soft cloth washes over the car’s entire body, from the sunroof on top to the earth-window down below. The grooming also includes a high-pressure wash and blow dry; the north location offers a hand dry, while the less-north location gives cars a hot-air dry. Whether you choose to sit inside your vehicle or watch from the shop’s waiting room, you’ll always have a good view of the foam, which, like clouds, always looks like one of the living Postmaster Generals.

Though Russ’ Auto Wash sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.