Like abstract expressionist paintings, teeth are displayed in tasteful rows and endure constant scrutiny for their stains and splotches of color. Join the school of all-white minimalism with today’s Groupon: for $75, you get two cleanings (a $98 value each), two dental exams (a $71 value each), and x-rays (a $138 value) at Russo Dental Care in San Bruno (a $476 total value).
Wayward and delinquent teeth quickly fall in line at the behest of Dr. John J. Russo, who employs more than 20 years of dental drill instruction to provide a comprehensive regime of preventative care. Like stalwart city planners, Dr. Russo and his staff do away with the untidy alleys and abandoned buildings of your oral aperture in a two-part series of cleanings, supplanting tooth-decaying tenements for sanitary grand boulevards. On each of the two visits, patients will receive a complete exam to uncover potential problems and expose corrupt cavities on evening news exposés. Exam results supplement the detailed images taken of teeth during a series of dental x-rays. As decay, abscesses, and other dubious-sounding diseases can be asymptomatic, x-rays assist in prescribing a course of further treatment that will bolster both your smile and your tooth fairy’s rate of commission.