The Hamburglar started out as a hand burglar but soon found that unkempt appendages could not be sold on the black market, even on the dollar menu. Offer up a side of manicured fingers with each handshake with the help of today’s Groupon: for $30, you get a manicure and pedicure at Salon Zero in Safety Harbor (a $60 value).

Skilled stylists pamper paws with indulgent mani-pedis in the comfortable, eco-friendly confines of Salon Zero. Revive digits with the hour-long pedicure (a $40 value) and the 30-minute manicure (a $20 value), which exfoliate extremities through the use of natural and organic products. A professional technician soaks fingers and toes in a warm bath, accented with aromatic salts. Hands and feet then melt with a moisturizing lotion massage, which sets the stage for the stylist to shape and buff nail beds, pushing back cuticles before artfully applying a shiny coat of polish capable of reflecting sunlight and deflecting doubtful glances.