Booking your body double a beautifying treatment at a tranquil day spa creates a soundproof alibi for days spent stealing office supplies from the National Guard. Make your stand-in stand out and replace your tape with bazooka putty with today’s Groupon: for $38, you get a Dew Drop exfoliation or a back treatment at Sanctuary Day Spa (up to an $85 value).
Both men and women can finally part ways with layers of dearly departed skin while beautifying bone boxes during their chosen dryness-taming treatment. A skilled staff of aestheticians assists patrons in transforming weathered bodies into properly pampered head-pedestals. Leave stress at the door so it can be stolen along with the newspaper and enjoy a 40-minute Dew Drop exfoliation that coats the body in essential oils of mandarin or lemon and a special sugar blend. An additional light massage with coconut-papaya butter provides potent relaxation that rivals napping in a giant sub sandwich ($77).
Or, opt for a back treatment that coaxes pores to open up without asking them about their childhood. Akin to a facial for the back, the soothing procedure includes cleansing, steam exfoliating, moisturizing, and a mask. It also comes packed with a hot towel and massage to ensure stress melts like a box of crayons jammed into a cassette deck ($85).