Booking your body double a beautifying treatment at a tranquil day spa creates a soundproof alibi for days spent stealing office supplies from the White House. Make your stand-in stand out and replace your tape with presidential seals with today’s Groupon: for $99, you get your choice of either a gold or diamond anti-aging facial at Sanda Gané European Day Spa in Wellington (a $385 value).

Within its serene confines, Sanda Gané wages war on nature's army of aesthetic afflictions with an arsenal of powerful yet luxurious skin treatments. In the all-natural gold facial, 24-karat gold genteelly teams up with highly concentrated hydrating agents to stimulate cellular regeneration. Once a skilled specialist removes the mask, the face is gently massaged to stoke the vivifying mineral agents and convince the cheeks to grow more adorable dimples. Meanwhile, visages turning to the diamond treatment will be first intensively exfoliated via a diamond-tip wand, then swabbed with a mask that incorporates micronized diamonds. In its powdered form, the gemstone can stimulate collagen production and detoxify skin, which engenders a youthful-looking appearance and pores swept clean of dirt and ranch Doritos dust.