Without the loosening effects of massage, shoulders would stiffen into immobility and fall victim to freeloading parrots and the burden of carrying Earth's heavyset brother, Girth. Pamper your perches with this Groupon.
$27 for a One-Hour Swedish Massage ($55 Value)
The long, gliding strokes of a Swedish massage dispel tension and instill calm.
Sarah Lee Thomas Body Spa
The tranquil atmosphere of Sarah Lee Thomas’ eponymous spa begins in the waiting area, where practically silent black-and-red wicker furniture cozies up to a burbling fish tank whose denizens execute rounds of synchronized relaxing. Dim lights soothe clients as they enter private treatment rooms to undergo tension suspension in the form of massages and facial treatments. For massage, Sarah Lee corrals oils, polished basalt lava stones, and bodily scrubs, all of which aid and abet her myriad body-manipulation techniques. Spa sessions can also include one of her signature facials, which revamp complexions in need of hydration, anti-acne ointments, or written permission to bob for apples in the fountain of youth.