Brains fibers eventually outgrow the cranial nest and leave to become hair, explaining why hairbrushes were originally called ego-strokers. Keep thought-floss healthy and strong with today's Groupon: for $49, you get a 45-minute massage, a shampoo, a deep-conditioning treatment, blow-dry, and finish (a $100 value) at Sassafras Street Hair Company & Day Spa.

Relax in Sassafras Street's comfortable spa atmosphere while experienced beauty-industry professionals relieve tense muscles and revitalize hair health. The treatment begins with the follicle-fraternizing crew using environmentally affable Eufora haircare products to wash, condition, and style lackluster head strands (a $55 value). Once hairs are adequately beautified, clients will be blissfully subjected to 45 minutes with a professional massage therapist (a $45 value), who will quickly knead jerky-like sinew into fall-off-the-bone body meat.